My friend told me about this app a while ago called Tinder. It’s a kind of dating app. It shows you pictures of guys in your area and you just have to let it know whether you’re interested, or not. You do this by swiping the picture to the left (I’m not interested) or swiping to the right (I am).
Nothing really happens until someone you like, has also ‘liked’ you and hey presto – it’s a match!
My friend said it was “basically a massive confidence boost” so when I finally got a smart phone the other day I thought, hey why not.
Now she was definitely right. I mean who wouldn’t be flattered if the guy you found attractive had also picked you out of the bunch. And the guys that don’t, well, it doesn’t even register.
However, there was one thing that really confused me. There were a few times where it flagged up a match when the guy had apparently been ‘inactive’ for say 23 hours. I’d only joined an hour before – something just didn’t quite add up.
So, obviously, I Googled it. And the first result that came up was this article in Marie Claire, by Lodro Rinzler called: Tinder Dos and Don’ts: Five Tips That Will Make Him Swipe Right
Now, firstly shame on you Google, this was not what I was looking for. And secondly I don’t really like the idea that anything but my striking looks would make him swipe to the right – it kind of reduces the flattering aspect when you’ve scoured through magazines working for it. But I skimmed through the piece anyway and I stopped at one point.
“Don’t list your height
I have a sinking suspicion that there are two main reasons women list their height on Tinder: they see men do it and are feeling reciprocal or they are taller than average and want to let people know. I hate the double standard here, but a man posts his height because he knows it might appeal to some women if he’s tall. Many of the women I talked to post their height because they are self-conscious about it and don’t want it to be an issue. Listing your height in the initial page is another red flag. You are saying “Hey just a heads up here’s the first obstacle: I’m tall.” Why lead with an obstacle? Why assume you being tall is an obstacle to begin with? Maybe let the flirting begin and if it’s important to you, mention it right before you decide to go out with the guy.”
Okay so I have to admit, I did stop reading before the penultimate sentence to go on a massive frenzy thinking, why the F is our height an “obstacle”??
But thinking about it – if she didn’t think being tall was an obstacle, why would she tell you not to list it? Why would she include it as one of the 5 things not to do if you want him to swipe right?
So I’ll repeat: Why on earth is our height an obstacle?
Truth is it isn’t – I actually think you should list your height. And here are four reasons why…
1. It Sifts Out All The Guys You
Probably Don’t Want
I feel like I’m stating the obvious here but starting something with a guy who wouldn’t have been interested if he knew how tall you were is not going to end well.
2. Guys Like Tall Girls
I disagree when Lodro says there is a double standard here, being a tall girl definitely has it’s appeal. I mean a lot of guys actually go for tall girls specifically. Amongst other things, they like the way they don’t have to bend over to kiss you. Now surely that’s the guy you want, someone who actually likes you for your height, not despite it.
3. Being Tall is attractive
There are so many attractive features of a tall girl. Now, I admit, there are times when I feel insecure and lay more attention on the negative. But how many times do people say – “I wish I was your height”? Think long legs. Think model. You stand out and that’s a good thing. Be proud of your height and, okay so you probably should refrain from putting “6ft and proud”, but you should definitely be open about it when describing yourself.
4. It’s the perfect time to bring it up
When you actually meet up with the guy, you won’t be able to hide the fact that you’re tall. It will be the first thing they see. I mean, they will notice your height before they notice your face. It is important you let them know beforehand, otherwise the pre-first date nerves will be horrific.
Lodro does say you can tell them just before you meet up, but how? Unless you have a blog all about being tall (and i’m guessing many of you don’t) then your height is a pretty difficult thing to just slip into conversation. Listing it in your profile description just gets it out of the way – I literally can’t think of a better time to mention it.
Normally an article like this would just pass me by. I’d forget about it, and wonder why I then feel negative and insecure about my height. But taking the time out to think about things like this, makes me realise – it is really all other people’s opinions that gets us down. We mustn’t let them. Being tall is a good thing, now shout about your height…. And list it onTinder.
I’d be interested to know what you think about any of the above. Let me know in the comments, or feel free to send me a message.